Down for Count: Samoa Joe and my TNA interest return

Kari Williams, Alestle Reporter

by Kari Williams, Alestle Reporter

This week is going to be a change of pace for the WWE diehards because when I turned on RAW I saw R-Truth and flipped to TNA. (I can’t stand R-Truth…I don’t know why!) But, I must have changed the station during one of TNA’s better moments because I witnessed Samoa Joe’s return to TNA.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not an avid fan of TNA, and I don’t follow them regularly. However, Tazz and Mike Tenay made Joe’s return sound like a big deal. I could be biased because (for some reason) I like Tazz as an announcer, but something in the way he carries himself and projects his voice makes him believable.

I will admit though, when Joe made his way down to the ring, in a surprise return, I could not help but have WCW flashbacks. A tag team match…A mystery partner…If a Bash at the Beach turn would’ve happened, I would’ve flipped back to RAW. But it didn’t happen. For that, I commend TNA booking; it honestly surprised me that they did not try to recreate that moment.

It has been done so many times in wrestling, where a company tries to revisit an angle, but instead of making it fresh and exciting, they recreate, identically (but horribly) the same interaction that drew heat five to 10 years ago.

With the Shawn Michaels/Vince McMahon angle from a few years back, McMahon “screwed” Michaels like Michaels did to Bret Hart at the 1997 Survivor Series. Trying to recreate the same atmosphere from 1997 was impossible—even McMahon knew that—but he went ahead with the angle anyway. From my perspective, all that did was anger true wrestling fans like a slap in the face.

But back to what TNA did right. It almost seemed like they teased fans with a Bash at the Beach replay, only to give them what they wanted but never expected. The surprise return coupled with Joe’s quick exit following the match leaves questions to be answered. Since this was the first time Joe has been seen since he was kidnapped weeks ago, (I haven’t watched TNA in months, so this kidnapping thing is news to me.) this strategy seems like it could actually work out. Joe returns to the Impact Zone, helps Team Hogan (Jeff Jarrett, Abyss and Rob Terry) defeat Team Flair and walks away without a word to any of team members.

In the very small amount of knowledge I have of TNA, Joe is one of the better wrestlers there, and I believe his return—and the angle in which he is returning—could help elevate TNA’s position within the “Monday Night Wars Version Two.”

Very few times do the fans actually see what they want to happen, rather than what the corporation wants them to see. TNA’s booking did an excellent job, let’s just hope they’re able to keep that momentum going, and maybe I’ll be able write about TNA because I truly want to, rather than a lack of anything worth my interest in WWE.

Timeout Awards: UFC fighters, Bulls management and a repeat offender

Jason Frazier, Alestle Reporter

by Jason Frazier, Alestle Reporter
This week’s edition of the Timeout Awards is highlighted by a couple of first. This marks the first time a UFC fighter makes the list, and we get our first repeat offender. So let’s start dishing out Timeouts, shall we?

I am a huge fan of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. I make it a point to catch every Ultimate Fighter episode on Spike TV and watch every PPV. I have mostly been satisfied with what I have seen until last Saturday. Anderson Silva, the so-called pound-for-pound best MMA fighter, decided to be best pound-for-pound clown in the world.

Silva got the wrong impression that somehow the people in attendance and PPV viewers paid to see him dance around and taunt his opponent Demian Maia. He forgot to do one thing during the fight, and it’s a key element in UFC: fight.  Saying he upset UFC president Dana White with his actions is an understatement. White refused to hand Silva his title after he won the fight by decision. He also had these choice words for Silva.

Anderson Silva may have lost the respect of his fans and his boss but at least he earned the first Timeout for an MMA fighter.

Maybe Silva could have cleared the octagon for next two Timeout recipients, who desperately wanted to tear each other’s heads off.  Vinny Del Negro and John Paxson reportedly got into a shoving match. This wouldn’t as big of a problem if they didn’t both work for the Chicago Bulls. Del Negro, the Bulls coach, and Paxson, the team president, got into a heated argument over the playing time of Bulls forward Joakim Noah.

Instead of uniting and rallying their team for a playoff run, two of the guys in charge of the team are trying to dish out haymakers to one another. Great way to lead by example, Del Negro and Paxton. Fortunately, your team made the playoffs while you two were training for your UFC bout against one another. Timeouts to both of you.

The last guy on the list probably deserves a Timeout Lifetime Achievement Award. I’ve written this blog for a little over a month, and he is getting his second of what will probably many more Timeouts to come.

Seattle Mariners outfielder Milton Bradley was at it again, when he visited one of his former teams, the Texas Rangers. Last week he flipped the bird to Rangers fans after catching a foul ball in the corner. There is not much more to say about this, but Milton Bradley is a low-class individual. It’s not like this is a one-time, minor incident. Bradley’s career is full of despicable tantrums and tirades. This is a guy who injured himself arguing a call with an umpire. Milton, congrats on being the first two-time recipient of a Timeout Award.

Down for the Count: Please, Hassle the Hoff

Kari Williams, Alestle Reporter

by Kari Williams, Alestle Reporter

When WWE started having guest hosts on RAW, I thought that maybe some good could come of it. But after seeing the train wreck that happened with Jerry Springer and then David Hasselhoff’s atrocity Monday, I know that no good can come from guest hosts.

Sure, they jolt ratings on occasion, but, more often than not, they add no content to the show, other than ridiculous gimmick matches that make me want to watch TNA’s version of Monday Night Nitro. There are strong enough storylines going right now, being that they’re still fairly fresh off of Wrestlemania, that trying to incorporate the guest host into the storylines is ridiculous.

Most of these guests are outside the realm of sports entertainment (Yes, I realize that’s the point.), but attempting to involve them in angles or create mini-angles that lead to the host making the main event match is a waste of time, especially with RAW being live. The only relief when the guests are on the screen is the moment when Santino Marella waltzes in unannounced.

However, with the Hoff, Marella became a part of the spectacle as he refereed the catastrophe Hasselhoff called the Baywatch Babe Triple Threat Match.

From what little wrestling was involved in the match, the only diva that added any ounce of credibility was Gail Kim—and all she did was clothesline Jillian Hall out of the ring after Hall broke up a pin attempt.

Regardless of the matches The Hoff put together, his “Hoff” jokes got old about two minutes into his entrance, and the same goes for the announcers referencing the jokes throughout the night. Guest hosts add nothing to the show except for ratings, especially if they are only there for one night.

The only way I can see any type of logic with guest hosts is if one stays around for an extended length of time as part of an angle and develops a character within the show. But I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

For the time being, RAW has angles that are enticing enough to keep fans interested without bringing in a random celebrity every week for a ratings boost. I can’t imagine that Hasselhoff really gave WWE that much of a surge. He’s David Hasselhoff. What can he offer the WWE other than a used up catchphrase or tagline that causes eyes to roll and songs that nobody can remember the lyrics to?

Time Out Awards: MLB season opener special edition

Jason Frazier, Alestle Reporter

by Jason Frazier, Alestle Reporter

This week was a huge week in sports. We had an exciting NCAA championship game, Tiger Woods returned to golf, Donovan McNabb traded, and NHL and NBA playoff races heated up as well. What more could a sports fan ask for? I almost forgot this week also marked opening day for MLB, where every team including the Royals has postseason aspirations.

In honor of opening day, I am going to have an MLB edition of this week’s Time Out awards. Although the season just started, some have already found a way to earn a Time Out.

First in the batter’s box to earn their Time Out is Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz.  Ortiz started the season 0 for 7. Now I’m not giving him a Time Out for his two-game lack of production; I’m not that harsh.

When confronted by media members regarding this, according to ESPN, Ortiz responded with this following profanity filled tirade.

“You guys wait ’til [expletive] happens, then you can talk [expletive]. Two [expletive] games, and already you [expletives] are going crazy,” Ortiz said. “What’s up with that, man? [Expletive]. [Expletive] 160 games left. That’s a [expletive]. One of you [expletives] got to go ahead and hit for me.”

What happened to the cool and calm Ortiz a.k.a. Big Papi? I understand why Papi was a little irritated, but he could have handled it in a more professional way. Big Papi needs to stop acting like the Big Paranoico (Paranoid); if you play in a big market you have to be prepared to be scrutinized.

Its hard to disagree with a MLB legend like Hank Aaron when he says he sees something special in a young player. Aaron laid lofty expectations on Atlanta Braves rookie outfielder Jayson Heyward after his opening day homerun.

“He can certainly bring the excitement back, not only for Atlanta but also for African-American players,” Aaron said. “We do need to have many, many more Jason Heywards.”

Aaron isn’t the only one singing the early praises of Heyward, it seems as a majority of baseball writers are already trying to induct him in the Hall of Fame.

So Hank Aaron and fellow Jason Heyward bandwagon riders take a Time Out for the pre-mature praise on this promising player.  It seems as if Heyward has a lot of tools to become a good player, but let’s give him a chance to have a career before we declare him the best baseball player ever.

My last timeout goes to the only Cardinal player I’m having issues with so far this season. I’m not going to completely throw him under the bus, since it’s so early, but Jason Motte, I need you to get it together.

Motte’s stat line so far reads an ERA of 27.00, WHIP of 6.00, and 1 loss, with the one loss coming in the Cardinals first loss of the season. Motte came in the game in the ninth inning with the score tied 1-1, and then threw a fastball in upper part of the plate to the Cincinnati Reds Johnny Gomes. Gomes deposited it over the fence for a walk off victory for the Reds.

Motte, the Cards long term success this season depends on you. Hopefully a Time Out will motivate you to get your act together.

That closes this week’s edition of the Time Out awards this week. Until next week; coaches, players, and all those involved in the world of sports be nervous, because I am on the lookout for those who deserve a Time Out.

An annual tradition: Finding fungi in Southern Illinois

T.J. Cowell, Alestle Sports Reporter

by T.J. Cowell, Alestle Sports Reporter

The other day it became Facebook official, I am now a fan of The Morel Mushroom.

Morel season is something that every spring for two or three weeks becomes somewhat of an obsession at the Cowell ranch. For a month prior and weeks after, going mushroom hunting is something my dad will not stop talking about. He is crazier about crawling around briar patches with the intent of finding fungi that I am. Even fishing takes a backseat when the middle of April comes around.

Morel Mushroom

That being said, I am still my dad’s son. So over time, mushroom hunting was going to become a passion for me whether I wanted it to or not.

On a more positive note, just the pure fact of walking around in the woods for a while getting away from school and work is something that I look forward to. Nevertheless, mushroom season is like having a three-week holiday to a lot of people.

The Illinois State Morel Mushroom Hunting Championship used to be held just a stone’s throw away from my hometown. Yes, there used to be a competitive state championship event held for hunting morel mushrooms. Since the tournament used to be so close, I have even participated in it before.

And for what is normally looked at as a recreational experience, there were some hunters who used to compete to win. Mushroom hunting is serious to some people. Yet kind of like fishing, my dad told me at a young age that mushroom hunting is about having fun. If you aren’t going to have a good time then don’t go.

There are a keen list of websites to check out if you are an avid ‘shroomer or even just curious to know more about morels. One of my favorites is www.morelmania.com, a website that I check daily nowadays to see where people are starting to find mushrooms. Earlier today while looking at the website I noticed there have been people picking morels here on campus. So they aren’t far away people. But good luck trying spots to hunt. Most people are smart enough to keep quiet about where they find morels.

I could go on all day about morel mushroom hunting, especially at this time of year. But I will cut my story short here.

While it is still a little early up north where I am from three hours away from SIUE, Southern Illinois should be starting to get into the thick of things here soon when it comes to finding morels. Best of luck to those who plan to spend the next few weeks finding morels!